Do you feel constantly overwhelmed in your relationships?

Have you pulled away from people you care a bout, or felt on edge, always waiting for the next bad thing to happen? You might not call it trauma, but your body and relationships might be telling a different story.

‍What Is Trauma, Really?

Trauma isn’t only about surviving a major catastrophe or war zone. It also includes the quiet, repeated emotional injuries that shape how we think, feel, and relate to others.

You may be experiencing unresolved trauma if you’ve gone through:

●      Emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving

●      Growing up in a household with addiction or mental illness

●      Chronic stress, bullying, or repeated rejection

●      Foster care, adoption, or family separation

●      Witnessing or surviving domestic violence

●      A catastrophic, life-changing event

If your nervous system has inherently learned that people or the world aren’t safe, that is trauma. This may not always look the way we would expect.

And here’s something important: just because someone didn’t intend to hurt you doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt. The impact matters more than the intention. Your experience is valid, even if others wouldn’t have been affected the same way.

Some people minimize their pain by comparing it to others’ experiences, but trauma isn’t a competition. If something hurts you, that’s enough.

It’s also possible for siblings raised in the same household to have completely different emotional realities. What one child internalizes as chaos or fear, another may not. Each person’s perception and nervous system are uniquely shaped by their experiences.

And acknowledging that difficult things happened doesn’t mean you’re blaming your parents or saying they’re bad people. It means you’re being honest about the impact your environment had on you, so you can start to heal.

Dr. Vicki Sanders: A Specialist in Relational Trauma

Dr. Victoria Sanders, LMFT, is a licensed therapist who specializes in relational trauma, the kind of trauma that stems from broken trust, disconnection, or harm within close relationships. Whether it’s childhood adversity, foster care and adoption experiences, or attachment wounds, Dr. Vicki helps people recognize how their earliest relational environments may still shape their adult lives.

Her approach blends clinical expertise with compassion and real-world insight to help people heal from trauma rooted in the context of relationships.

Signs of Unrecognized Trauma

Many people say, “I had a good childhood,” or “Nothing that bad happened to me,” yet still struggle with:

●      Chronic anxiety, overwhelming feelings, or burnout

●      Difficulty trusting others, even in safe relationships

●      People-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of failure

●      Emotional numbness or sudden mood swings

●      Overreacting to conflict or withdrawing completely

These are all signs your past might be affecting your present.

How Trauma Shows Up in Relationships

Relationships often reflect our deepest wounds. If your relationships feel unstable, distant, or overly intense, unhealed trauma may be the cause. You might:

●      Struggle with intimacy or fear of vulnerability

●      Intense emotional reactions you can’t explain

●      Shut down, lash out, or avoid connection when things get serious

●      Choose partners who repeat old, unhealthy dynamics

●      Feel like you’re never “good enough” for love or friendship

●      Apologize constantly or live in fear of abandonment

Without realizing it, we often recreate the emotional environment we were raised in until we heal.

You Are Not Too Sensitive, You Are Wired for Survival

Your brain and body have adapted over time to protect you. Anxious thoughts, emotional shutdowns, or people-pleasing tendencies began as survival mechanisms. What once kept you safe might now be standing in your way.

The good news is that healing is possible.

What Trauma Healing Looks Like

Healing from trauma does not mean pretending as if it never happened. It means creating new experiences of safety, connection, and self-trust. With trauma-informed therapy, you can:

●      Understand your triggers and survival responses

●      Learn how to build healthy, secure relationships

●      Reconnect with emotions you’ve buried

●      Set boundaries that protect your peace

●      Reclaim your identity beyond your trauma

Recent findings from the Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute (PCORI) emphasize that trauma recovery must include not just individuals, but their relationships, families, and communities. Healing is a shared journey.

You Don’t Have to Carry It Alone

If this resonates with you, you are not broken and you are not alone. Unrecognized trauma is incredibly common, especially for those with histories of relational loss, family dysfunction, or early adversity.

You deserve healing, connection, and joy. And recognizing your trauma might be your first step toward a healthier future.

Invite Dr. Vicki Sanders to Speak

Dr. Victoria Sanders, LMFT, is a nationally recognized therapist and speaker specializing in:

●      Relational trauma

●      Foster care and adoption

●      The long-term impact of early adversity

Grounded in a client-centered philosophy, she ensures individuals understand both the“what” and the “why” of therapy, empowering them to take an active role in their healing journey

Interested in booking Dr. Vicki for a speaking engagement, podcast, or professional training?

Click here to contact her and start the conversation.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or neglect, help is available. Call the state wide Adult Protective Services hotline at (833) 401-0832. Just enter your 5-digit ZIP code to be connected with your local county APS office, available 24/7, every day of the week.